Why your student doesn’t want to practice (and why you should encourage them anyway).
It happens much more than I’d like. I’ll get a phone call or email to the effect of: “Little Susie is going to take a break from piano lessons for a little while, she just isn’t going to practice on her own anymore.” I will state firmly and upfront: I am not a child psychologist, nor can I claim any prowess in parenting. This post is not an attempt at that. It is my experience as both a performer and a teacher, as well as a permanent student of my craft. My intention here is to relay my own experience of the plateaus, peaks and valleys of practicing and where the motivation to do so can come from.
As a student, I did not want to practice every day that I did so. In fact, I’d go as far as to say that I often did not want to stop whatever I was doing to practice. However, I often enjoyed playing once I started. I wanted to quit at age 9. I wanted to quit at age 13. I was not allowed to quit because my father did, and he regretted it all his life. Questionable though those motives may have been at the time, I clearly showed enough of an aptitude enough that my parents knew I could push through whatever momentary frustration I was having. My parents knew my aptitude was not from some latent genius or profusion of talent, it came from the discipline that developed them (maybe not genius, let’s be real). My mom would plop a 30 minute timer in front of me, endure some painful playing, heavy sighing and occasional slamming until we called it a day. We did this routine about 5-6 days a week, with varying degrees of rebellion.
Children and teenagers often lack the perspective and experience to understand the value of their discipline. In a culture where I’ve observed more and more choice given to children to self-direct their interests, I’m about to sound out dated and old fashioned. Bear with me. I don’t often want to work out. I don’t often want to go to continuing education classes. I certainly don’t want to do the dishes. I do, eventually, do all these things because I know the value in their completion. I trust the process, because I know the results. Children in particular may not comprehend these results yet. In beginning anything, especially a musical instrument, there are short term triumphs and there are also long term projects. It can often be hard for a child to imagine where their efforts are taking them, because they haven’t seen it yet. They will. It is not a product of nascent talent. If your student doesn’t show constant self-directed inclination to practice, please know I’ve never seen one that does. I cannot stress this enough. Some students show an immediate competence, some don’t. That does not mean they don’t have the potential to grow and have successes. This is where an adult may have to guide them to the piano, withstand the pushback, and perhaps even take out that timer. Discipline is learned before it is valued.
It is my primary goal to foster a student’s passion, joy, and enthusiasm for music and themselves. Playing piano, especially once I reached high school, became a source of personality and confidence. It was my secret (and sometimes not so secret) super power that others (especially those who had quit) did not have. The goal of teaching piano is not to make every student a concert pianist, its to give back what I was given. Without my parent’s encouragement, I likely would have quit, too.
Here were some of my best motivators: symphonies, recitals, and concerts. I know those aren’t readily available these days, but youtube can be a fantastic resource. Please ask me about my favorite performers, you will unleash a nerdiness and fan-girling previously unseen. Seeing other people perform, whatever the medium, is still the single most inspirational tool in my life.
As a teacher, I plan to plant the seed. I’m asking you to nurture that seed. I’m asking the student to grow.
